I DELIBERATED long and hard about this blog post because I was apprehensive about sharing this particular Rite of Passage with my readers. It’s a completely new uncharted path on my Journey.
But in being true to myself I keep saying the BLOG is about MY journey, My story, and how I’m living it. So here goes.
Although the cancer aka TAZ piece of the Journey has taken a back seat, the other spokes in the wheel of my life just keep spinning round and round.
I told you about the characters in my life at the start of the Blog, one of which was my mother. Little spitfire, no taller than 5 feet, maybe 100 lbs.
During the first few weeks of my TAZ diagnosis experience, my mother came right to NJ to be by my side. In her 90’s but still working at the time. What a trooper she was, running back and forth to all my appointments, and there were many. In and out of dark parking garages and some of the appointments were late at night. Sitting in waiting rooms, sometimes for hours. Even though there was not much she could do, I appreciated her being there.
Well now I have a role reversal in my life. My mother suffers from Glaucoma and it has caused her eye site to seriously diminish. She is now at a stage where my siblings and I need to step up and provide some serious care-giving.
Now it’s time for “us” to be by her side. There are no words to describe the feelings, emotions and sometimes terrifying changes all of us are going through. Only those who have experienced it know what I’m talking about.
It’s the whole care giver roller coaster ride I talked about when Denise (my daughter) was taking care of me through my chemo treatments. LOVE the patient but hate the disease or affliction. Frustration sets in on both sides and things get really complicated.
But my mother has taken an oath or a minor pledge not to complain, and not to feel sorry or depressed about any of it. But we’ll all still set aside time to allow ourselves solitary moments to just scream.
I live in New Jersey and my mother lives in Mass. I’ve momentarily move back in with her to set up some necessary services for her but thank God it’s a big house so we all have plenty of space. I’ll make arrangements so I can go back and forth, but for now we’re all just taking it one day at a time.
While making all of these arrangements and adjusting to all the changes, we keep praying to the Lord to take the reigns and show us how to do things with patience and grace. We want to do this with a Happy heart, no resentfulness, no bitterness, no attitude, just try to enjoy our mother as much as we can.
My mother and I are both very bossy, strong willed, opinionated, always right, and must have the last word types of people. So, this won’t be easy, but we’ve all agreed to put all the drama aside. Every now and then we do have some pretty good laughing spells, so that will be good. My bottom-line DAISY LIST motto, is “BE KIND”. We’ll all surely get a chance to practice that motto.
I wanted to let my readers know all of this because I might be challenged to get my posts out as quickly as I had planned for 2019. Plus, I wanted to share the fact that even though I’m a cancer “survivor”, doesn’t mean now I have the chance to sit back and plan my DAISY LIST Dreams for somewhere down the road. No, I now have a new Rite of Passage to contend with, as most of us do.
SO, I STILL HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO DO WHAT i HAVE TO DO AND STILL,
“LIVE MY BEST LIFE NOW”!
And I’m working at it! Believe me I’m working at it.
Even if it’s one small note, one small item, or task, or a tiny issue every day, I will continue to pursue my DAISY LIST Dreams.
I guess that’s my message for this post, keep at it, NEVER GIVE UP, you never know which day will bring the breakthrough you need to see that BRIGHT light or BRIGHT star peeking thorough on your DREAM.
So, bear with me my DAISY LIST readers, there will be some lags with the Blog, but we still have “GREAT THINGS PLANNED!” Things that will help you identify your DREAMS and learn how to manifest them.
In the mean time I plan to take some of the following advise!
Keep you posted!
POST 2019-04
I just read your latest Blog Post and it was a great one!
you are right you and your mother are both very bossy, strong willed but you do a great job with her thank you
your brother
Diane – Love being sent from us to you all. The Care-giver role is not an easy one for sure and when they say Patience is a Virtue, it is so very true and sometimes very hard to find within ourselves. Having worked for you for many years and then being part of your posse’, I do agree, you are bossy and strong willed :-), but that is what makes you a fabulous leader, friend, mom and daughter! Lead on my friend, do what you do best and be you! Most of all, take care of you or you will not be a help to anyone. Love ya!
Great post! This really captures the essence of what it means to care for family.