Daisy List is the Greatest Bucket List Ever!

I know others have said their BLOG was never intended to be a novel, and I felt the same way initially.  However once I got started, I changed my mind.  It started to turn into a sort of  history book for my children and grandchildren.  Something they can read after I’m gone that they might find funny.

So before I get into the meat of my Journey, I felt I needed to introduce you to a list of characters to make it easier to keep up.  This is a list of some of the characters that became;

My Golden “Tribal” Circle.

There are many more characters as I go along, however these are the family and friends that immediately started to “Circle my Wagon”.  Consider yourself well blessed if you have such a Tribe.

 «  Lead character or Hero, is of course my daughter, Denise.  She instantly became my Advocate and commander-in-chief.  Most of you that know her are already laughing because you know her personality.  She’s smart, beautiful, strong, serious but above all else authentic.  She says what she means and means what she says.  She just took over and became my Advocate.  Every visit, every treatment, every appointment, she had her notebook, asks tons of questions and expected straight forward answers from EVERYONE.

No fooling around, as a matter of fact, at all of our visits, Denise asked every doctor, and there were many, so many questions, I started to get so embarrassed.  Where did they go to school, for how long, how many procedures had they done, what was the success rate, etc, etc, etc. I thought I’d die, I had to ask her to calm down.

When we were done and about to leave on one particular visit, the doctor told Denise that after seeing how Denise treated me, she was ashamed of how she treated her own mother.

Denise didn’t skip a beat, she explained that she only had one mother and right now I was her primary concern.  She explained how she calls me approximately 5 to 6 six times a day and if she needed cooking instructions, a recipe, or fashion advice, it might be 8 to 10 times a day, so she needed to make sure I was in very, very good hands.

Before we left, the doctor told us based on our visit, she had made a resolution to herself, to call her mother at least twice a week.

«  Next in command is my son, he’s three years older than Denise, but I’m here to tell you he takes direction from her also (we sort of all do).  They are exact opposites.  Where’s he’s playful and easy going, she’s serious and right on track.  It’s actually a big family joke.  They are both just the right mix for me.

I use to tell my son that I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but, if I had to pick someone for a foxhole partner, I’d have to pick Denise.  He’d then tell me he didn’t want to hurt MY feelings either, but if he had to pick a foxhole partner he’d pick Denise also.

She’s such a take charge person, she’s comical but she doesn’t realize it.  Of course that only makes it funnier.  She constantly tells my son and I that we live in “CARE BEAR LAND”.  That’s her favorite expression about us, and she’s serious when she says it.

My daughter takes charge and that works for me, my son makes me laugh and that is also a tonic for me!  Best combination, you “CANNOT” buy better meds than that.

«  Next would be my mother, all 98 lbs of her.  As a family, we let her believe she runs the whole show. (yea, right)  When I first found out I had health issues, she stepped right up, packed her bags and came to stay with me prior to my surgery.  And if you think I’m Bossy, what’s that saying, “the chicken doesn’t fall far from the tree?” (inside joke)  I’m sure she would qualify as a Tiger Mom.

HONORARY Commander In Chief

My Mother

Driving “Miss Daisy”

I can’t explain what a crucial time that was for me and I didn’t even realize it back then.  But ultimately it made all the difference.  The surgery was scheduled weeks away, and I’m sure I would have lost my mind dealing with the waiting by myself.  On the good days we laughed a lot.  By the time I had the surgery, and was recuperating, it was questionable who was taking care of who.  Just saying! (smile)

CHILDHOOD BFF in Charge  – BETTY 

«  We live 300 miles apart, but we’ve been cousins and BFF’s for our whole lives since birth.  She tells me she knows me better than I know myself, so I don’t argue with her.  She’s slightly older than me, so she thinks she has senior rank.  WHATEVER! 

       My cousin the Analyzer

The thing is she just let’s me vent, no judgement, no lectures, just listens and then she gives me her take on things and then we move on.  Column for column, we’re complete opposites, but it has “NEVER” pulled us apart.  As kids, we were so silly, we laughed ALL the time.  We still laugh a lot, again laughter is a tonic for me.  She was one of the best parts of my childhood.  She was the first one I told about TAZ.

We still talk on the phone for hours just about everyday, beats paying a shrink.

ADVOCATE & ANGEL IN CHARGE – CAROL

«  My second Advocate is my girlfriend Carol.  Now she’s another force to be reckoned with.  Her professional background was dealing with health insurance cases for AT&T, and I’m positive she’s read every single medical manual ever written.  One of the doctors she worked with actually just gave her his Doctor’s manual.

Every one who knows her seeks out her medical advice.  The comical part is if she gives you directives, you better listen or you get demerits.  She’s very aggressive and passionate when she is playing advocate for ANYONE, not just me.

I love her dearly and the best part is she gets along fabulously with my daughter and the rest of my family.  So between all of them I have my marching orders on a daily basis and believe me I do as I’m told.  It’s just easier. (smile)

I think most of Carol’s friends, including myself, truly believe she has an inside track with St. Peter.  Everyone I know goes to her with their prayer requests.  And I for one think her prayers really work.

MY BMF (Best Male Friend)  –  NES aka TED  

«  What can I say, he’s what you call one of the “Good guys”!  He just let’s me go on and on.  He provides a real warm shoulder, and plays a major role in my comfort level.  He gives me encouragement every step of the way.

When he gives me advise, sometimes he’s forceful but easy.  He always gives me a complete opposite approach to things.  Which I like, but we argue like crazy because of course I always know I’m right and he’s off the charts.  But then somewhere down the road I find out he may have been right after all, and it ASTOUNDS me.    Not all the time, mind you but sometimes.

No matter what I say or do, his claim to fame is that he has NEVER been angry with me.  Pretty cool huh!  I LOVE that.

I do have to confess though, I get angry at him all the time, not for long, well sometimes it’s for long, but never FOREVER!  We’ve been though plenty, and we still like each other.  That says a lot.  Better than most marriages.  (smile)

My Rock IN CHARGE – PETE, my brother

«  The name Peter stands for rock.  I know he may not be a rock to everyone, but he is definitely one of my rocks.

He’s so easy going it makes me crazy, but on the other hand that’s one of the things that makes him special.  Calls me every morning and every nite just to check on how I feel.  Calls me “Sis” which is endearing, and he’s never embarrassed to say “Love you Sis”.  Just what a brother should be.  He’s 3 years younger than me, but as kids he was very, very protective of me.  I think he still is.  He probably could have been a stand up comedian, but sometimes it takes too long to get his jokes.  Just saying!

SISTER IN CHARGE – BEVERLY aka COOKIE

«  Ok, you want characters, here’s a character.  She’s a different one.  She moves to a different pace, dances to a different tune, and follows a different drum beat.  We’re like most sisters, some weeks are great and some are just okay.

But it has taken me years to figure her out and now I just deal with her good traits.  She’s funny, no she is really funny.  She talks at about 150 miles an hour, but she really is a story teller.  She can piss you off big time, but she can also make you laugh BIG Time.  And that’s a great quality.

 MY ANGEL GRANDSON  – ANTHONY

 I won’t go on about how handsome, smart, brilliant, intelligent, sweet, funny, athletic, and just all around wonderful this kid is.  But if you’re a Grandmother you know exactly what I’m talking about.  Love him to the MOON and back.  Just a phone call from him is better than all the meds in the world.

So there you have it.  This first circle is mostly close family and friends, but I have an even wider circle of very special friends and relatives.  There are so, so many, I’m proud to say, Lucky me.  At one point or another they will “ALL” appear in this Blog because they were “ALL” instrumental in my healing process weather they know it or not.  They all “Circled my Wagon” in one way or another.

Some of these people were practically strangers at the beginning of my Journey and now have become true blessings.

Our family becomes our Tribe through destiny, but we can also build onto and add as many members as we like.

As you’ll see later in this Blog, my circle is amazingly diverse in age, color, gender, ethnic groups, religion, you name it.  A truly RICH mix, some of which I met once I started this Journey.  If you want true richness in your life, I encourage you to add to your Tribe each and every single day, even including people like the supermarket bag boy.  You’ll be amazed.

One of the things I learned on this Journey was how important our TRIBE is, friends, relatives, and sometimes people that were practically strangers.  I know how I felt when I received a card, letter, a magazine, a puzzle, phone calls, a small packet of bath salts, a bottle of lotion, flowers, anything at all.  These things don’t have to be expensive, my favorites were silly cards.  What can I say, I LOVE to laugh.  Sometimes they come at the most precious times.  It’s amazing how “healing” these things can be.

So through this lesson I’d like to encourage even a small fraction of my readers to go out today and buy a card, a small bunch of flowers, a small box of candy, a gift card, make a call, anything at all and send it to someone dealing with a “personal tsunami”.  Let someone know you see them and cherish them as part of your Tribe.

I don’t want this BLOG to just be about awareness, we all know the personal tragedies out there, I want it to be about “INVOLVEMENT”, so more of us DO something!

Reach out to someone, anyone, and ask them if there is anything you can do for them and when they say NO, DO SOMETHING ANYWAY!

We all need to “Circle the Wagons” around our Loved ones when they NEED us the most, not after they’re gone.

I encourage everyone of you to circle somebody’s Wagon this week, month, year, whatever!

In the meantime,

Make a Daisy List…….. then go LIVE it!

 STAY TUNED………..