Well, here we are, up to chemo #3 treatment already.
Around about the 3rd treatment you start to really get the hang of it. It seemed like a turning point for me. Something clicked in. I pretty much had the routine down, now it was time to start thinking about charting my way back to “ME”!
I got a Magic Bullet for one of my rewards and I started making “Green Shakes” every morning to start off my days on the right path. I have to tell you I still have a Green Shake just about every morning and I LOVE them.
Some days I change it up a bit, I might add Green tea or a different fruit. Most of the things in the smoothie are high in antioxidants. All good stuff, however always check with your doctor to make sure nothing might interfere with any medications you might be taking.
As a matter of fact, I’ve previously listed most of these ingredients in my “Eye of the Day” piece, called CELL DESTRUCTION. I lifted the list directly from the ANTI CANCER BOOK, please check it out.
Because of my “Night of the Iguana” episode Denise and I had to rearrange our post treatment routine, so I wouldn’t be home alone and Denise wouldn’t miss as much work.
So here’s the new routine. I drive to Denise’s house in PA on Saturday. We return to my house in New Jersey on Sunday night. We go to Treatment on Monday morning and drive back to Denise’s Monday night after the treatment. Tuesday morning Denise goes to work and I stay at her place for the week with my new care givers, Jake, Sydney.
Tuesday’s are usually good, the aftermath of the steroids leave me feeling pretty good. Then comes Wed, panic and anxiety day, because we’re waiting for the IGUANA.
For some reason, this particular visit was a little bit strained with words and fussing between Denise and I. It got me to thinking about all of the patient vs caregiver relationships out there. Even the best relationships become strained after a period of time.
But the Patient/caregiver situation, is extremely delicate. (Did I just hear a collective sigh of agreement from all of my readers out there?)
The more I think about it, the more I realize how fragile and sensitive emotions can become in these situations.
No matter which combination we talk about, relationships are tough, spouse, siblings, parents, child, you name it.
But, I don’t think there is any other relationship out there that is tougher than patient/caregiver, especially if you’re related, and it’s over a prolonged period of time.
Maybe we need to start Universities for training people on HOW to do this. There are so many stories out there about gut wrenching LOVE vs HATE emotions associated with caregivers.
That got me to thinking, earlier I mentioned that every TAZ patient should have an advocate, but after closer examination, I realize the caregivers need a few ADVOCATES also. Wouldn’t that be GREAT?
But to get back on track, I do have to say my daughter did a pretty dam good job. She tried to keep the right mix of patience and tough love. I’m not one for to much complaining or whining, but when my meter got even close, to complaining, she knew how to reel me right back in. No big pity parties in this house, and she knew that was exactly what I wanted and needed.
This is me “before” my 3rd treatment, however it involved so many complications, I can’t even begin to detail everything that went wrong “after” the treatment. However, I will share one issue.
There was a major mix up and misunderstanding on my pain meds, due mostly to my not paying ATTENTION.
– Pay attention to every RX they give you
– Pay attention to the list of side affects
– Pay attention to EVERY symptom you have
– Pay attention to your diet and whatever you eat
– Pay attention to each and every single Xeroxed piece of paper they give you
And Lord Thank you for all my Advocate and back-up Advocates, because they all “pay attention”. It seems the only one that does NOT pay attention is Me. Thank God I have all this help.
For every patient it requires an ARMY or people to explain what’s going on. As the patient, after a while you just hear a buzz in the back of your brain, and you just can’t even process any more information. So you need to find a way to write down everything said or record everything or have a GREAT ADVOCATE with you at all times, taking copious notes.
My Biggest major mistake was not paying attention to my pain medications.
You see in CARE BEAR LAND, we don’t usually have the kind of pain TAZ brings. We have little headaches and tummy aches and we take little cherry flavored aspirins and then the little pain goes away. So when I began experiencing the aftermath of CHEMO pain, I immediately realized I was no match for this fight. But in my infinite wisdom, I still thought I just needed to take more cherry flavored aspirins. La la la la la! I didn’t understand that TAZ eats those little cherry flavored things up the way adults eat gummy bears.
I called a few people to discuss this new level of pain, it sort of reminded me of my “Night of the Iguana” only at a much deeper level. The big difference was, this level went to 100, and the previous pain was about a 13. The only reason I wasn’t passing out, was because I had remembered to drink lots and lots of fluids. Oh yes, yes, yes, after my Night of the Iguana, I had learned my lesson about dehydration. I was a SMART girl now!
The only problem was I wasn’t SMART enough to know you’re suppose to take the pain medication “BEFORE” the pain arrives, not once the train pulls into the station. HELLO!!
Everyone I called for advice asked me the same first questions. “Have you taken any pain meds?” My response, “Well, no, not yet.” To which they all quickly replied, OK, Captain Obvious, what are you waiting for? At this point, I have to explain why I was so reluctant to take pain meds.
The news is full of stories about people that start out dealing with some health issue and end up with a drug habit. I’ve never had to take any sort of heavy duty drug for anything so my first instinct was all about not wanting to get hooked on anything. After all, I have a very, very low threshold for drugs.
“And how did I know that you might ask”?
Well, some years ago, I had oral surgery on a Friday morning and was told that I would be up and about by the afternoon and I could go back to work the following Monday. Every patient after me, was up and out of there way before the end of the day. The story is really funny, but just too, too long to detail here.
The end result was, it took almost a full week for me to recover. For about 4 days I was in a COMPLETE stupor. Based on that, a very, very nervous Dentist made me promise to remember, that I had a very, very low threshold for drugs.
Now fast forward again and here I am post my 3rd chemo treatment. I had the oxycodine in my possession for my pain. I just wasn’t SMART enough to know it was time to “TAKE THE DAM MEDS”.
The first ones I took definitely kicked TAZ’s butt, however the drawback was I was so loopy, I didn’t care. I thought to myself, this is insane. I have a choice between a level 100 pain or being so loopy I couldn’t recognize something as simple as my two hands and feet. At this point I could not figure out if I was coming or going.
After a couple of days on the phone with my Angel Advocate, Carol and my brother, I learned how to adjust the meds for my system. I finally reached a decent balance between less pain and “la la stupor ville”.
The other strange thing that happened after my 3rd treatment was my reluctance to go out anywhere in public even when I felt perfectly fine. The bizarre reason was that I felt I had Chemo breath and Chemo odor. (hm-m-m!)
For days after each treatment you get what they call Metal mouth and in addition to that, your urine has a very, very strong pungent odor. EUW! However, one of the tricks to keep from feeling so lousy is to drink tons of liquids so you can flush this toxic cocktail out of your system as quickly as possible. Well you know what that means, you “pee” all day.
I just knew in my heart that if I went out in public, people would automatically know that I had Taz because they’d be able to smell it on me. It really plays with your head. I mean don’t get me wrong, I had no problem telling people I had the big “C”, I just didn’t want to “smell” like I had the Big “C”
And the Metal mouth, OMG, yea it’s REAL! OMG, you just don’t want to open your mouth around “ANYONE”. Everyone said they couldn’t smell it, but if it smelled like it felt, I just didn’t want to be in any social situations especially with people that didn’t already know me.
On top of that, I got this strange craving for cabbage and peanut butter and Ritz crackers. For some reason they were the only two things I seemed to actually crave and enjoy. I felt between the metal mouth and a constant diet of cabbage, I wasn’t going to be a hit in any social circles, so I just didn’t go out. I was just too self conscious, I was reluctant to be around people, especially small children, I sort of felt radioactive or something.
Thank God my friends paid me no mind and still brought their little ones by to visit. You want to talk about a miracle healing pill, just send me a picture or bring a little person by to visit and I immediately feel GREAT and all my cares seem to float away.
Friends and relatives kept sending me pictures and bringing little ones by. It was the best therapy and meds in the world, it always worked. Lifted my spirits by a factor of 100!
The visits and pictures were all right on time. I finally started getting out of the house and that alone made a big difference in my healing and well being.
I once read somewhere that if advertisers wanted to make someone smile, they just show them pictures of babies or puppies. So here’s to making you smile, my own personal SMILE GALLERY!
